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Wednesday, July 11

Stool Sample + Naughty Dog = Crappy Day

Yesterday was interesting, that's for sure. Once again, DD is not too well. Normally, I wouldn't go running to the Doctor's for the slightest little bump or upset tummy, but when DD (normally a very hearty eater) had been off her food for a few days, combined with nausea, tummy pain and being very tired, alarm bells went off. So off we trotted to the (unpronouncable name) doctor. He was very thorough, and because DD has been overseas in the past month, ordered a huge raft of blood tests and a stool sample. DD asked what a stool sample was, and I told her. She had thought that it was some kind of injection. DS offered to give his poo instead, so I had to explain what a lovely, kind brother he was, but no, he couldn't volunteer his stool. Anyway, the time came to poop, and DD was most embarrassed about having to do it in a potty (after all, she is 10!). After the deed was done, she called me in and I began the delicate task of shoving poop into the sample jar, trying all the while not to upchuck. Managed to use a plastic knife quite successfully to accomplish said task, then I had to dispose of the rest of the sample ('cos that much poo just wouldn't fit into one small jar). Took the potty to the toilet, dumped it in the bowl, and then tried to use the plastic knife to scrape the rest out. BIG mistake. Instead of a clean potty, I ended up with poo flicked all over the walls. Gross......

The poo sample had to go to pathology right away, so off we went to deliver the specimen. In the hurry to leave, I failed to notice where the dogs were. We were out for a couple of hours, and all that time I had a distinctly uneasy feeling about the pups. Got home at lunch time and we were greeted by one very guilty-looking, slightly plump fox-terrier cross, who had (somehow) managed to escape from the yard. Her big Labrador sister was no-where to be seen. Turns out that DS had, in his hurry that morning to check if the bird bath was frozen over, let the dogs out and failed to mention it to me. Bonnie had made a run for freedom in my absence and had disappeared. Cursing and threatening death, I went inside and checked the answering machine. Sure enough, the very nice lady from the Dog's Home was on the message bank, letting me know that my repeat-offender Lab had been picked up by the dog catcher and was having a little holiday with them. $35 later a very shame-faced Labrador was home, looking very tired and guilty. Anyone want a Labrador, going cheap????

1 comment:

Glori said...

Dang nabit, I wrote a very witty, urbane & insightful post....and it never came up *sob, sob*.

Now, I'm caffeine free (it's at the kettle as I type) & I'm going to go with a 'gist only' repeat.

Something like.....

That's what they call the joys of parenthood....I heard about it on the streets - possibly the gutter - which, apparently is where Labradors like to hang out...when they're allowed!

Ok, it isn't as good but you have the idea :)