Alice's progress with regard to attachment and bonding has taken a few steps backwards the last fortnight or so. We have been very busy, routines have been altered and I am finding that this all impacts upon her behaviour and attachment. She became quite disregulated by Sunday, so I have had to ramp up the holding therapy, and throw in a bit more sling time just for good measure. So far so good - she has responded well to the increase in therapy and her behaviour is coming back to within the realms of normal. So what do I mean by disregulated?? Tantrums, lack of eye contact, raging when held, etc Basically reverting to the behaviours which had alerted me to the fact that she had an attachment disorder in the first place. The more I parent Alice, the more I realise that attachment and attachment-related issues will probably be a constant thing in our lives. Whilst she responds well to the therapy, it doesn't take much to set her off (in a bad way) and the good work comes undone. Do I think that she will ever be 'cured'?? I honestly don't know. What I do know is that she is much healthier than she was a few months ago, and I pray that she continues, over time, to improve. Whatever the case may be, she is my daughter, and I love her to bits. Every smile and hug is worth the effort!!!
5 comments:
Hi Cristina,
Have hope...attachment is a lifelong process. I think Natalie and Alice feel bonded to us, but are a little more vulnerable and less secure about change. When I look into the face of my five year old, I have hope. In my five year old's face I see complete trust and love and I know one day I will see the same in Natalie's and you will see it in Alice's brave little face...its just going to take a little more time and it will get better. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to help her with this.
Take care. CTG.
I am with CTG. I know that you are doing the right thing for her. Hugs from Texas.
No one ever said, being a parent would be easy! I'm a bit worried, parenting Harry was hard!!! Let alone, a poor scared little child, from a different background and country!!!
Good thing, I'm up for a challenge, and of course hugs, kisses and smiles!
You are an awesome Mum. You ought to be congratulated, for seeing the signs, and actually doing something about it! Alice may never be "cured" - she'll always know she's loved.
You ARE an awesome mum and Alice will come through this. I remember well the times when Ebony has sleep terrors (hers weren't necessarily at night actually they usually weren't at night). The last one was in April this year so they may not be ended yet - but I must say I have ALWAYS picked her up and held her through the fighting and the thrashing (sometimes 1-2 hours). On a few occasions we have fallen asleep together through TOTAL emotional exhaustion. For Ebony it's the changes in routine most of the time. BUT - I look at her today - I look at the beautiful, loving, caring, gentle little girl I have who now, FINALLY, comes for kisses (18 months home) and hugs and I know that even if I haven't yet broken the chain that causes the terrors - I AM winning and you will too. Hang in their precious mummy - you're victory WILL come. xx Jen
Cristina, so sorry Alice is having setbacks. It's so strange to me what gives them setbacks??? Lily has been totally freaking out with stuffed animals lately, was fine a few months ago, now just terrified of them?? Just continue to love them, sounds like you are doing a wonderful job , hang in there. (((hugs)))
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