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Thursday, November 29

Heart-wrenching

Yesterday afternoon, Alice awoke from her nap after only an hour, screaming in terror. I rushed in to see what was wrong, and she still seemed to be 'out of it' but screaming. I was stroking her hair, saying 'shh shh', trying to calm her back to sleep, as she really needs her full two hours or she is CRANKY! She woke up properly then, took one look at me and screamed even louder than before. She turned her head into the pillow and was sobbing, 'ma, ma, ma'. She then looked at me again, screamed, looked away and sobbed again. My heart was breaking for this poor little girl who, I think, is finally beginning to realise that her foster mother (the only mum she had ever known prior to October 21st) has gone. I just cuddled her then, and she eventually calmed down, but my heart ached for this poor little soul. I am still tortured by doubts (especially at times like these) about whether we have done the right thing by taking this little girl away from her country of origin. I guess only time will tell...

3 comments:

Glori said...

Hang in there, you knew there were going to be times of adjustment coming. It's hard to endure, but the love & support & comfort Alice will receive from you (& all of your family by the photos I've seen) will help.

Big hug to you!

Anonymous said...

We are going through a similiar time with Natalie as well...at night in particular..and it is hard to watch...a person feels so sad and helpless. Its heart wrenching....All we can do is support our children...but it so hard not to cry...I believe it will get better. The reason I believe this is my five year old is very attached to us. We just need to give them time..Take care. CTG

The Straight's said...

I can SO relate to the struggles you all are having. Our girls are truly where they are meant to be though :)